I wanted to say something to you guys before we get into the last part of the #ABMidYearStashChallenge. No. I need to say this. I have an exorbitant amount of makeup and nail polish. Like way more than one person could possibly go through. I have enough for like 10 people. Let me tell you why:
This all started back in 2012. The collection did. The deeper problem started when I was 16. That's when the anxiety and depression started to manifest. I was seeing a therapist for a while, and that helped, but of course, you don't just get rid of mental disorders.
I was doing really well after I stopped going to therapy. The issues started up again around the time Riley was 2. I had started working at the mall, and both my part time jobs required you to look a certain way. So I bought some foundation, eyeliner, mascara and went about my life.
But I enjoyed the process so I picked up a few more things, here and there, to try out. That's also when problems with my husband started, and they escalated from there. I would get paid every Friday, so to make myself feel better, I'd go to CVS or Walgreens and spend 15-20$ on makeup or nail polish.
Things with my husband got worse over time, and so my collection grew. I didn't feel like I had many reliable people in my life, so I filled it with things. My things wouldn't betray me and make me feel like dirt. It became my way to cope. I'd wear makeup everyday and paint my nails every few days because that was all I had, and it helped to justify my continued spending.
I did this for 3 years almost every time I got paid.
I still do this, but I've moved on to skincare. Washing my face and trying new products makes me feel good, because I still really only have my kids and my sister in my life. And I still struggle with anxiety and depression.
So long story short, I'm not at all bragging about any of this. Im really, really embarrassed of my collection for letting myself hoard all of these things. I'm well aware that I don't need anywhere near this much stuff. But I also struggle to get rid of it because it's so important to me. .
I really hope you made it to the end of this and understand that I'm really just trying to cope.