The older you get, the more you realize how complicated things are. With all my travels - more than two years combined - I find that simpler lives seem happiest. Poor people are more generous and caring, probably sheltered from selfishness by not having much to begin with?
I find that people are the most complicated of all and that it's so hard to see them struggle without being able to do much.
I see tears in the fabric of our relationships and the love that used to hold us closer together. I feel the sharp pain of waste, misunderstandings and missed opportunities.
I see us all drifting apart from that one point, that one moment where we were all smiling, genuinely happy to be together.
I miss the simplicity and the people who apparently had the ability of keeping us together.
I wish I was a better person, I wish I was a magician and could make it all better, fix broken links and cracked hearts.
I can feel all the pain, to a extend.
I want to be the child I used to be, when I thought things couldn't get worse. When feeling unloved was actually better than the pain of drifting apart. When, if I didn't belong, at least they did together.
I feel like a boat on the ocean, in a light current that makes me drift away, incapable of controlling the direction in which I'm headed, only knowing that it's far from where I wanted to be, and far from people I love so much.
I'm so sorry I can't take your pain away.
I'm so sorry I can't fix all of our hearts and reconcile all of us.
I'm so sorry we can't be together with genuine happiness anymore.
I'm so sorry to witness it all fall apart.
I still love you all.
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