I'm gonna let you in on a little secret about me. Traveling is my goal in life. Seeing the beauty and the magic in the world.
For me, traveling is always cathartic… But I was surprised when Iceland became just as meaningful in a couple of weeks as the year I spent in Australia and Asia.
I had a major breakthrough there. I'll spare you the details but it was incredible. Freeing.
In Iceland I let go of guilt and shame I carried since I was a little girl. I managed to gather some of the shattered parts of me and sort of put them back together.
And now here I am, working on those photos, remembering how free I felt. How unimaginable it was to finally be grounded. I'm not sure I ever felt that way in my life before.
Being united with myself.
Not trying to please anyone or to live up to others expectations. Giving up on attempting to fit into a mold of conventions or normal people's definition of normalcy.
Letting go of the fake stuff, the pretending, the mask. No more secrets. No more guilt. No more shame. No more justifying everything. No more looking for approval or validation.
I realized that it doesn't matter what you go through or how others see it/would have felt/reacted in your place. What matters is how you felt. You can put 100 people in the same situation, you'll have 100 different results. You don't have to justify yourself for how you feel. You don't have anything to prove. What you feel is simply what you feel and you don't need to have others validation to be allowed to your feelings.
I think I know my qualities and my many shortcomings by now and I don't know how long it will last but I feel Ok with myself.
It's Ok to be yourself, I realized. And it's also Ok that you won't be fitting into everyone's life. It's Ok that people cut you out of their lives if that's better for them. It's Ok even if it feels unfair. I know I did my best.
It still makes me sad but I'm not shattered anymore.
Iceland put me back together and it's wonderful to feel capable again. To feel serene. I kinda want to surf that wave for as long as I can.
Have a wonderful rest of your life everyone. I wish you to feel grounded, serene... and Ok with yourself 💜