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anaisnym anaisnym

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Anais Nym  Come for the booty ๐Ÿ‘ Stay for the captions ๐Ÿ“ Faceless model ๐Ÿ™ˆ in Toronto ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฆ Princess๐Ÿ‘‘ bookworm๐Ÿ“š single๐Ÿ’” self love ๐Ÿ˜ sex โž•ve

When your roommate is moving out, and you secretly hope the cute movers notice all your nude self portraits hanging around the apartment ๐Ÿ˜‡๐Ÿ˜ˆ

What kind of gifts would someone give you to make you go ๐Ÿ˜? For me, it's books or funky useful things, like a pretty bath mat or a new printer.

Do we owe sex to our partners? Yesterday I received some really thoughtful comments and DMs on this topic. The answer is no, you don't owe anyone sex and nobody owes it to you. But when you're in a committed relationship, you may sometimes agree to have sex when you're not that interested, for the sake of your partner and the relationship. Honestly, this topic makes me uncomfortable because I don't know where the line is. I can imagine sex as a duty in a relationship becoming quickly abusive if the other partner is selfish or unaware. I can also imagine being the sexually frustrated partner and feeling confused as to why my person doesn't want me like I want them. Still, there are some hard lines like begging, pestering, coercing, tricking, and not respecting a 'no'. Sex can be an important part of intimacy and if it disappears too much, you could risk losing the relationship. On the other hand, it's your body, your choice, and your partner isn't entitled to sex. In a context where two people truly care about each other and want to make it work, who am I to say that unenthusiastic consensual sex isn't an appropriate relationship tool? Open communication about shifting sex drives should be another tool in those circumstances too. I say all this with the caveat that I've never been in a healthy long term relationship, and I've only met one person with a sex drive to match my own (hi North ๐Ÿ™‹๐Ÿผโ€โ™€๏ธ).

Does it matter to you that your partner wants sex, or do you only care that they agree to fuck you? This question goes for women and men, because both can be coerced into agreeing to have sex they don't really want. I'm going to assume you don't actually want to hurt someone, but do you know the difference between consent and enthusiastic consent? Just imagine this: your boss offers to send you to Hawaii for an all paid work conference - FUCK YEAH IMMA DO THAT. Versus: you agree to work on Saturday because your boss won't stop pestering you about it, vaguely threatens to have you fired, or dangles the distant possibility of a promotion in front you - yeah I guess I'll cancel my plans and come in to work even though I really don't wanna, because I need to get my boss off my back/keep my job/get that promotion. While those examples show consent/enthusiastic consent, they don't capture the nature of sex. Sex is deeply intimate. It's a gift. No one is entitled to it, not even a partner. Consenting to sex you don't want can have lasting impacts and really fuck a person and a relationship up. To this day, I am still uncomfortable about many of the interactions I've had where I've consented but begrudgingly. I'm afraid that I've also been on the other end too, pressuring men into sex they didn't want. I think we can all do better by our lovers and ourselves and only fuck with enthusiastic consent.

I want to talk about my previous caption where I described a night I told a guy nothing would happen then something happened and the next day I felt uncomfortable. Recently I did this again, except it had a totally different ending. I've been dating this nice guy and we had plans to hang out at my place. Although I wanted to have sex, I had my reasons to tell him we'd have to keep it PG. Long story short, we had sex. But this time, I really don't have uncomfortable feelings about what happened and I can tell you exactly what the differences are. For one, he didn't initiate anything or escalate anything. He let me control what happened, if anything, and at what pace. I asked him him to make out, I invited him to the bedroom, I offered certain things. Meanwhile, he confirmed with me throughout that I was onboard with what was happening. I checked in with him too, to ensure he wanted to do things or continue doing things. There was no doubt for either of us that both of us wanted what was happening. Looking back at that other night so many years ago, I know that's what was missing. That guy never once checked in on me to learn if I had really changed my mind. The next day, I felt like he didn't actually care if I wanted it as long as I agreed to do it (there is a difference). Whereas this new guy, he had no interest in sex if I wasn't 100% on board. What a fucking difference!

Question: did you always know you wanted or didn't want children? When did you figure out what you wanted? Is having children (or not) a total dealbreaker? Or is having children something you'd only consider with the right person? If you were uncertain, would you be able to date someone who made up their mind one way or another?

Some people treat Instagram like a dating app. So I'm going to experiment and see how that works. If you're single in Toronto, send me a DM. I may or may not answer ๐Ÿ™ƒ and please tell me where you are in the message or I will ignore you ๐Ÿ˜…

Under a post about Tinder, someone suggested I use instagram to date instead. Alright, I'll bite. How does one use instagram to date? Not like you can search by location or singleness...

If you're having casual sex with anyone, you should expect to wear a condom. Frankly, anyone who is willing not to use a condom is a bright flashing red flag. If they're going to have unprotected sex with me, who else have they done it with? What are they bringing into my bed? Let's examine some of the excuses men have actually told me. 1) "It doesn't feel as good." No duh, and I agree. But ya know what also doesn't feel good? Childbirth, child support, any number of STIs... 2) "I'm clean it's okay." Sorry dude, this only works for someone I know very well and can trust. I need to know their sexual history, who they fuck, who they fuck unprotected, who their partners fuck, their last test, etc. Plus I've been lied to on this matter by a boyfriend, so I'm careful about who I choose to believe now. 3) "I don't have any on me." If you're a sexually active person, and enjoy and/or have a d*ck, you should always have condoms. Especially if you're in a situation where sex may arise. Not having a condom is a reason not to have sex, not an excuse to have unprotected sex. 4) "I'm too big." Come on now, I can I stick my foot in a regular sized condom. But if you need a bigger condom, always bring them with you. 5) "I can't c*m wearing a condom." Wait, does that mean you can go for hours without a climax? First, awesome, let's do that. Second, hahaha, welcome to life as a straight woman. Third, there are other ways to finish. 6) "I can't stay hard." This one really sucks, but it's likely psychosomatic. I'm not risking my health for your boner. 7) "It's okay, I trust you." Legit, one guy (total stranger) told that to me. So what, buddy? -- Now two adults can make any decision they want about having consensual unprotected sex. But I have had enough of people using lazy excuses to justify their impulse for a slightly increased pleasure when my health is at risk. Stop expecting people to be as risky as you, and stop pressuring or tricking them into it too.

I've decided to start seeing a therapist or counsellor. I'm having trouble dealing with vicarious trauma. For those who aren't already aware, vicarious trauma is kind of like secondary PTSD. It affects people who love or work with others who have experienced trauma. Last week, I found myself offering more than I was prepared to give to someone going through a crisis. I don't regret doing it, and I know I'll do it again. Strangely, it didn't leave me with a warm fuzzy feeling, you know that glow that says "I really helped someone". Instead, I felt so empty. I had nothing left to give anyone, not even myself. That's why I haven't posted much recently. I want to continue being this person who gives. But I won't be able to do that until I learn coping mechanisms that work for me. I've never seen a mental health professional before, and I'm definitely anxious about it. Does anyone have any tips on how to choose the right professional?

When your IG BFF @officiallylivi commissions a bootyfull friendship portrait from @mattmandh omg this is the best gift ever ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

Do you prefer to pay for the first date? What about after that? I love to be treated like a princess, but I never expect a man to pay for me - unless he suggests somewhere really expensive, then he's definitely paying. Usually though, I'm always prepared to pay for myself, and sometimes for him too.

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