amylouhawthorne amylouhawthorne

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amy hawthorne  lost ➕ found. wifey to b, mama to e + h. lover of coffee and top knots. army pilot turned tradition maker + holiday celebrator. founder @theeverco ♥

we were sitting in the therapy waiting room. Hadley grabbed a toy and Everly instantly bent down and bit Hadley’s arm so hard it drew blood-an experience we’ve been dealing with at home and on play dates for over a year now. the other parents in the room sat there quietly, wrangling their kids up as though i was trying to tame a wild animal and they needed to keep their littles away. and honestly, i don’t blame them. i remember the first time Everly was bit. it’s not a normal feeling when you have to console a child being bit for the first time. but as a mama who’s been on both sides, i just pray that you are able to handle it with grace. knowing that the biting stage is such an awkward and weird one to be in for both sides. Everly is almost 3.5 but is practically a 2 year old developmentally. because she can’t speak well and doesn’t understand how to express her anger, she lets it out in aggression. we work EVERY SINGLE DAY with her. I take her to therapy nearly every day for it too. as a mama to a biter, just know we are desperately trying. i don’t share this to apologize for her actions or to throw a pity party. i just want you to know that we’re in the trenches of biting season too. an awkward place to be on the biting mama’s side and the bitten mama’s side.
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but for us it’s even more than just the biting. for us, it’s the fear in Hadley’s eyes when Everly is around. it’s the jealousy i feel when i see other siblings loving each other so well. it’s the judgmental looks when Everly bites an adult or child and i sit there helplessly apologizing to a parent, while also disciplining and consoling my girl.
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Hadley, my hearts breaks seeing the two bites on your arm in this pic. I’m sorry we couldn’t protect you quicker.
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Everly, my heart completely breaks for you too. you’re the sweetest soul, but it’s so hard for some to see. we know you’re in there.
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maybe one year, maybe five, maybe twenty years from now, we know you’ll be the best of friends. and i hope you know, we truly love you each the same. we will never ever stop fighting for you.
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thank you all for your deep love on my last post. I’m truly speechless. 💗 #evercopostofficeruns

hubby gifted me the most natural and intimate photo shoot yesterday of just me and my girls. playing where we love to be most. i did hydrotherapy with both of them while in active labor, so to fast forward to this moment on Mother’s Day is a dream come true. but i also wanted the most raw and unedited pictures, because it’s through these photos that i’ve finally found the courage to share E’s autism story on the blog. raw and unedited. heartbroken and grateful. 💗
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i also shared why we use @tubbytodd bath products and how it’s helped with mine and E’s eczema. how it’s the only bath bubbles i can bathe in without having urinary issues and why it’s brought the joy back to our bath time. until Wednesday at midnight you can use code AMYLOUHAWTHORNE15 for a discount! read more about why we love these products on the blog. 💗

I’ve worn my hair down and painted my nails more in the last two months than i have in the last two years. and it’s never felt better. 💗

one of my soul’s deepest desires is to create magical moments + magical spaces for the tiny little children of this world.💗
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Blake’s gonna draw up the plans for these house shelves in June! he just kinda winged it a couple years ago, so he’ll need to do some measuring to put together a tutorial. I’ll be sure to share it on the blog! #ourHawthorneHomeNC

when you’re traveling through the storm of grief, firsts are just so darn hard.
i go through weeks where daddy hardly crosses my mind. i mean, i think about him constantly, but i go stretches where it’s not the gut wrenching, heart pounding, can’t catch my breath thinking.
and then there’s weeks where i can hardly get up. where i feel like I’m in a dream and this still isn’t real. and this week is one of them. cause last weekend i experienced my first ever Kentucky Derby without daddy calling me when the horses were all lined up. and then watching the two minute race over the phone with me and hearing him make his predictions on the triple crown.
and this weekend will be my first Mother’s Day not hearing his “Hey my hot shot, happy Mother’s Day! I’m so proud of you” call.
gut wrenching, heart pounding, can’t catch my breath storm.
this journey of grief is truly something i can’t explain. it’s something you just don’t get until you’re in it. i know i didn’t. but here i am. stuck in a tornado.
BUT STILL: living and still breathing.
and still making memories with these girls + chalk on these beautiful early summer nights, trying to gently remind myself that surely there will be a rainbow coming after this storm too. 🌈 #hawthornegirlschalkart

a couple weeks ago, Apple told me i lost absolutely everything on my one year old MacBook. that they couldn’t explain what happened and i did nothing wrong. my iCloud was full and hadn’t backed up and i hadn’t backed up to my external for over a year. so to make matters one million times worse, i lost all of the pictures and videos from Hadley’s birth while Blake was deployed. i lost all of the pictures and videos from my daddy’s funeral and the letter i read to him on the day we laid him to rest. i lost all of my Army stuff and marathon pictures. and i lost absolutely EVERYTHING that I’ve worked tirelessly on from day one for our business. this was the exact same weekend i sadly lost my aunt and that everything crazy went down on the Korean Peninsula, where my mom’s family still lives.
I’ve been reluctant to share this because i try desperately not to be a woe is me kinda gal, but I’m sharing it now because I’ve had two weeks to make sense of it all. but mostly, because what i experienced yesterday is the silver lining in all of this. 💗

i was told that i owed $1,300 to Apple for the repair for a brand new hard drive. after already coming to terms with the grief of losing everything on the computer, i was completely heartbroken that something that wasn’t my fault was now being billed to me. the Apple tech i worked with at the store was certain that it was an Apple issue and was so remorseful for everything. but then, once it got to Apple care for the repair, they suddenly said there was water damage-which i know is completely false. the entire situation was so odd that it was raised to a senior Apple advisor. and this is where the beauty of this story unfolds.
he nearly broke down when i told him everything I’d lost. he thanked me over and over for my service and said there’s no way he’d ever charge me for the repair. that it’s very seldom they do this, but he’d be waving the $1,300 payment and basically be replacing the entire computer. while my memories and hard work were lost, i hadn’t lost faith in this company.
but then he said there was a chance the tech i worked with in the store would be punished for breaking protocol. ⬇️ cont. below ⬇️

every Wednesday we take a picture right here at our tiny local post office after dropping off Ever Co packages. we take sissy to therapy then head to our library. the sun kissed freckles on my nose, those deep wrinkles on my forehead and around my eyes won’t be healed or touched up by any creams. they’re marks of the pure joy that these girls bring to my life. they’re marks of perseverance and hustle from running our small business. they’re marks of triumph, overcoming some of the most trying obstacles of my life. and while the day to day monotony of endless post office and therapy runs can be oh so exhausting, they’re also a living breathing lesson of hard work paying off. i never want these girls to believe life can be handed to them. but instead that a fierce love for Jesus and unwavering determination will bring them the greatest successes in life. our little post office runs and daily therapy sessions are proving just that. 💗 #evercopostofficeruns

when hubby gets an unexpected day off from work and tells you to leave the baby at home so you and your first big girl can go to therapy sessions alone + Target to have a girls day: YOU DON’T ASK QUESTIONS AND RUN! 🙌🏼
but first you take a garage selfie, cause if not, it didn’t happen. 😜

when hubby’s favorite Cinco de Mayo and mama’s favorite Derby day unite, we lounge around all weekend in our Derby hats, watch horse movies, eat a lot of tacos and antipasto and make memories with the fam. cause no Juan hates tacos. but if you do, essss okay. 🌮 #thebachelor #getit #ifnotESSokay.
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ON THE BLOG: our Derby and Cinco de Mayo traditions with sources + recipes!

the sun shines bright on my ole Kentucky home. ☼

we aren’t going anywhere fancy, we’re just marching up and down our street, to the beat of our own drum. running wild for the roses, just like the horses, and having a fiesta like there’s no mañana.
but really, i just wanted a reason to dress like this emoji for Derby de Mayo! 💃🏻

on Derby day, us Kentucky girls take our Saturday milk baths with our horses. 🐎 🛁 ♥ #milkbathswithmygirls

spent all day playing in the sprinklers + unintentionally learning that red ants are not as friendly as the ones in “the ants go marching one by one” Little Baby Bum video. even so, my heart is as full as Hadley’s belly and thighs. 🐜🐷💦 #everlybrynnandhadleyrae

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