Yesterday I told that I'm looking The Nightmare before Christmas and that is what he text me back. It's a quote of this film...💜 I hate myself for being so dumb. Today I was at his home and we were sitting together and looking TV but then he said "You know that I love you right?" He was looking so hopeful. I think he thought this time I would say that I love him too. So I only said "Yes". Usually at those moments he do nothing and act like it's never happend. But this time he was still looking at me and wait and I ask him "What?" and he said "It's the same shit every day and I can't understand it anymore. I take every chance to prove you that you're special to me. I don't wanna hurt like other people I wanna save you. Why can't you understand this?". I wasn't able to say anything. I just began to cry and he put his arms around me and stroked my back. He said "I won't make you cry Darling. I'm sorry but it's hard and it hurts every time as hell. I know that you love me. I can feel it but I wanna hear it." I knew that I still wasn't able to say it. So I looked at him and kissed him. At the moment it's ok but it isn't finished for him. I can't understand myself 'cause I really love him. He's everything I have and everything I need. He's the reason why I don't cut myself since 4 month. I often try to show him that I love him by little things. For example; He's really really in love with Dr. Pepper Coke so every time we see us I have a Dr. Pepper Coke for him. I swear; without him I would be already dead. I think he is just too good for me. Now I can't sleep 'cause I'm feeling so bad about this situation. Pls can someone hit in my face?
I'm sorry. Pls forgive me my mistakes. I'll meake it better by the time. 😞
Oh, I think it's a very good question. I don't know when it's begun. When I was 10 years old I bit my arms the first time to handle angry and pain. Since I can remember all people around me gave me the feeling that I'm a little piece of shit. And thats why I can't believe that he really likes me. I really like him but I hurt him over and over again. Instead of leaving me alone he always try to prove what I means to him. I can't understand that he let himself getting down by this shit. I'm so sorry but you're too good for me. #hate #myself #not #good #enough #you're #too #lovely #can't #handle #this #shit #anymore #breakfastclub #quotes
Some of this mornings I don't want to get up and start this shitty day. I just want to stay in bed with my blanket above my head and don't have to see or hear anything. But I have to go to work. My sense of responsibility hold these thousand pieces which calls my life together. At least at work I don't have time to think about all this shit. #theperksofbeingawallflower #quotes #favoritemovie #dyinginside #tiredofeverything