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alwaysmargi alwaysmargi

1070 posts   38972 followers   342 followings

Margherita Luisa-Rosa Barbieri  🌙🏔🌹🏳️‍🌈 DANCER. Vegan || Anorexia warrior & blogger. 📍 Reading/London.

http://www.itsalwaysmargi.com/

The giveaways aren’t stopping! Yes I admit I love giving, it makes me feel a little more human inside. I used to be so materialistic (especially in my darkest months of anorexia) and at these times I would place so much worth on ‘things’. My values were all wrong and ‘stuff’ took charge over company.
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Sadly I have a very dark history. Not only dark from my anorexia but also my criminal record. I am not showing-off about this, in fact this is very difficult to write and admit. I was always trying to fill this dark pit inside my stomach and filling it became an obsession. I used drugs, alcohol, stealing, buying, hoarding, purging, exercising and starving. I have been caught and arrested five times, I have been banded from six different gyms six times, I have been missing and brought home by the police twice, it hasn’t been fun. My emotions drove me to take very dangerous risks.
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Why? These risks I used to take in panicked moments felt like they filled my dark void inside my stomach and the rush of adrenaline from stealing, or the claps of praise in my my mind from skipping a meal, or the false feeling of worth from losing weight would all temporarily fill my whole. So running to these risks as a ‘quick fix’ became instinct.
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But in just a short time later when those false ‘quick fix’ feelings wore off, I was left with the raw pain of a black pit inside my stomach and each day it felt deeper and my pain buried even lower below my surface.
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However there has been five specific ‘things/acts’ that have helped to permanently fill this numbing space but firstly you must know: What is the horrible whole I keep talking about, that bubbled away in my stomach, the one which even you sometimes feel throbbing?
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The answer: The whole is your self worth. Mine was once so empty that it dug backwards into me, burning tiny wholes in my soul. Many Ed and mental health warriors will be nodding their heads agreeing at this piercing internal pain. You can’t fill this whole with numbers or weights, with stealing or with objects, nor with money or with drugs, not even food will comfort this feeling.
CONTINUED IN THE COMMENTS >

ANOTHER CHANCE GIVEAWAY ANNOUNCED! 🎄🌟
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Yes... another one! (I’ll explain why I am going “giveaway mad” in the next post- but guys I’m not rich... in fact I struggle with money. But giving and sharing is VERY good for my mental state, as I sadly once used to be so materialistic and inhuman in my ‘values’ of stuff Vs people).
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Anyway I am ecstatic to announce that for this giveaway I'm teaming up with a fellow vegan foodie: @vegan.han 🍏🥑🍅🥦
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This collaborative giveaway is filled with all of our “proud to be vegan” goodies! Of course chocolate, snack bars, cookie and something I never go a day without: @missfitsnutrition protein powder. 🍓🧠💪🏼
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Simply enter by following 3 straightforward steps: p.s The giveaway is worldwide! 🌍
1. Like this picture,
2. Follow both @vegan.han and me @alwaysmargi,
3. Tag three other accounts in the comments.
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The giveaway winner will be announced next Friday on the 22nd of December. 💋

Give away announcement! 🌅
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The lucky earthling is: @oh.chickpea 🥑🎄 (The winner is selected at total random) Congratulations chickpea & I hope that you enjoy this festive filled giveaway from @thetremblingofaleaf & myself. Please DM me your address so that I can deliver this selection of goodies to you. (P.s make sure to thank @thetremblingofaleaf too!) 🎎
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Have a WONDERFUL Thursday everyone! 🦖 (Its not long now until Christmas!) #christmasiscoming

Photography by: @olichappers 💙

There is a new WARRIOR TALK blog up on my website! Go and give it a read and while you’re there why not give the other Warrior talk blogs a read too. 🌻🌄
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Photography: @ukphotographer
#girlpower #photography #recovery #bodyconfidence #bodypositivity #selflove #london #warriortalk #alwaysmargi #website #blogger

I AM PROUD TO ANNOUNCE THAT THERE IS A NEW EDITION OF ART ON MY WEBSITE! As of tonight the secret update is out... art has finally taken its rightful place on the Always Margi website! 🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹(p.s please check it out guys, there will be a new art piece of mine uploaded to this space every single Tuesday at 8:00pm)

Hopefully this will both establish myself as an artist and encourage others to use ART as THERAPY! 🌻

As the weeks roll by I hope that this space will begin to grow into a online portfolio that you can all flicker through! 🤟🏼

In my recovery art was my biggest source of therapy, head healing and escape, and it STILL is to present day. 💪🏼
#girlpower #recovery #bodyconfidence #bodypositivity #selflove #art #alwaysmargi #website #blogger #sharpiepen #sharpieart

Left shot (attempting) to be sexy 2013 ➰ and right shot (attempting) to be sexy 2017...
#fastforwardfiveyears
It’s taken me five years to finally feel like a woman, and both sexy & confident in my own skin.
🖤
AND I’M NOT GOING TO LET THAT SLIP! FORWARD MARCH! #recoverywarrior #mindmatters #girlpower #bodypositivity #beateatingdisorders #jointhefight #selflove #gainingweightiscool #anorexiarecovery #mentalhealthrecovery #anorexiawarrior #mentalhealthwarrior #veganrecovery #heretohelp #bodyconfidence

My body is mine. Hers is hers. His is his. Yours is yours.
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You have a choice to be judgmental, and you can choose to use fat and thin shaming comments that only feed the global issue of keeping women and men stuck without self-love. Your choices can help to force-fed a belief that women and men should appear a certain way. In short... you can make and may be making the wrong choice.
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You see focusing and commenting on size takes away from who a woman/man is, the life that they lead, their talent, their compassion, the gifts they contribute to the world and the beauty that takes root within her/him. Size or weight doesn’t determine the health or worth of a woman or of a man.
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The more we allow these judgmental and body shaming comments to be spoken, the more ashamed and powerless women and men become. People blindly encourage others to strive to be what they “should” be instead of embracing who they are.
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Ladies, gents you are worthy of loving yourself. It’s time to support your loved ones, friends, and children to see themselves beyond their body and it’s time we all saw ourselves beyond our body too.
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We are souls and not bodies and both our bodies and our souls are ours. So screw body shaming and stop body shaming!
Photography: @ukphotographer
#stopbodyshaming #recovery #beateatingdisorders #jointhefight #selflove #anorexiarecovery #mentalhealthrecovery #anorexiawarrior #mentalhealthwarrior #veganrecovery #heretohelp #bodyconfidence #bodypositivity #soulsnotbodies

Welcome to (probably) the most frequently asked question in anorexia recovery and weight restoration: “What the F**K is up with my stomach?”...

Yup, I’ve been there, I’ve been laughed at, called names, asked how long till I was due, what sex is the child, blah, blah, blah. 🖕🏼 But with all that behind me I can assured you Warriors that it’s both NORMAL in weight restoration and I can also happily confirm it GOES! Hallelujah! 🙌🏼

A little about it: ✍🏼️
A side effect of weight restoration is (the sometimes comical but) incredibly uncomfortable stomach bloating. This is called: 'Oedema'. Oedema is a side effect to weight-gain found in many anorexics or very malnourished/starved individuals.
Oedema is a form of very severe bloating, and commonly arises in Anorexia weight-restoration. This can sadly cause aches, pains and feelings of exhaustion, and is very distressing given our distorted body image and our focus on shape and size (sad face). 👎🏼

The main underlying cause of this disproportional abdomen within weight restoring anorexics is due to a BODILY SURVIVAL INSTINCT that takes place to protect the internal organs in the sufferers stomach- almost like a padded cushion or air filled balloon. The sufferers body creates a stomach barrier formed by mostly water retention (what a superb natural way of shielding healing organs) -good job bod. 👏🏼

My Oedema lasted for about 8 months and began to gradually decrease when I maintained a healthy weight and now, well now I very, very rarely bloat at all. Grab your party hats everyone! 🤟🏼
Right-hand Photography: @ukphotographer
#girlpower #recovery #beateatingdisorders #jointhefight #selflove #gainingweightiscool #anorexiarecovery #mentalhealthrecovery #anorexiawarrior #mentalhealthwarrior #veganrecovery #heretohelp #bodyconfidence #bodypositivity #bloating #oedema

How incredible is @linesbyshirls art-work! I find her style breathtaking and so empowering.
Thank you Shirley. 🌹

Photography by: @ukphotographer
#artwork #artistsoninstagram #dance #photography #girlpower #empoweringwomen #bodypositive #bodyconfidence #selflove #anorexiarecovery

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