****LONG POST ALERT**** •. •
A N X •I •E •T Y
4 years ago my anxiety was at an all time high. Plaguing me daily. It was a sign to make some major shifts in my life and find some relief. I found a daily spiritual practice, I connected to my body with daily yoga (shout out to @glow.yoga for helping me create my practice), I partied less and slept more. I ended my marriage, moved to a new city. I had a fresh start, and my anxiety was under control. I believed I had done the work it took to cure it. This past month, anxiety has been creeping back into my life. I’ve been trying to ignore it, but after another night of no sleep, (it’s unfair to be awake with anxiety when my new born sleeps through the night!) I decided it was time to address it. I reflected back to my previous bout of anxiety and decided to try a few things that helped me then. I pulled out my mat and, for the first time in 3 years did the Ashtanga primary series. When I was finished I instantly felt lighter. It was on my daily walk through the forest that I was struck with a lightning bolt of clarity. This anxiety is my bodies way of sending me a message. Before when my anxiety flared up, I used it as a clue to change something externally. A relationship, location, job, bad habit etc. Making these changes did leave space in my life to heal some wounds. But it was more of an outward focus. This time around, I am changing my strategy. I am listening to my body, slowing down and shining a flashlight on some shadows in my soul. Slowing down, connecting to my body through Asana, connecting to spirit through meditation, connecting to my vulnerability through writing (and sharing) and trusting that the universe has my back through this.