about last night :
playing the streets is a vulnerable act that takes courage & trust. inevitably there are people that abuse this. there is someone who has been refusing my requests to leave me the fuck alone for far too long.
it's a long story, spanning over 4 years, increasing in intensity until his incessant harassment & demand to be at my shows, getting kicked out, causing a scene, eventually turned into an unthinkable death threat against my friend & I.
honestly, it's been tough & haunting & unfair.
he hadn't popped into my life for a while. but last night, as the sun was setting, with an incredible crowd around me, as I shared my intimate thoughts & songs, making myself vulnerable to strangers, there he was.
my heart sank to the pavement. I barely got through the song. I began to explain to the audience that I physically was unable to perform with this man present. he went and sat on the stairs of the ubahn, refusing to leave.
I felt so held & supported by the wonderful attentive faces in front of me, it was really quite something. so I said fuck it. and with tears still hot on my cheeks, feeling shaken, I played my last song.
and that is what I will continue to do. no one will silence me / scare me / harass me / chill me / hurt me / intimidate me with their toxic & selfish & unwanted presence. (and I am in the process of getting a restraining order)
and I just want to thank everyone who was there for giving me your love & support last night, damn I needed it. sometimes, we need to look out for each other, even though we may be strangers. ☉