I came home from Nola a few days ago, a place I had not seen in 9 years, with new experiences and feelings that created a major shift within me. Contributions to this shift was connecting to incredible new+old humans who strive for a higher standard in what it means to love and be loved. I even saw evidence in art of others striving for similar things at @studio_be_ curated by @bmike2c (of which this photo was taken at my favorite place in the gallery! If you are ever in New Orleans, please visit this amazing space).
When I landed in OR, I received a sweet text from a new friend in Portland, who expressed unconditional support and kindness. When I got home, I received a package from an old friend who decided to say goodbye out of the blue. The contrast in events was shocking. This was painful and angering, particularly after continually attempting to have conversations with this person for the last year, support them thru their own thick and thin.. and in the end to be told I wasn't a good enough friend. I cried a lot at first feeling despair and confusion as to why a person would treat me this way. I'm smart enough to know people act out from their own pain. So I also cried in joy from freedom in knowing that I AM capable and deserving of love, that there are people who will return the respect+love I give quite freely (I've been shown that in the past couple months).
For the first time in a while, I am confidently able to say that I'm excited for life and the future, and that I am ready to FUCKING LIVE!!!! I'm ready to love the fuck out of life and continue to prove that. That means not giving up on those who have given up on me (with certain respectful boundaries and time). I would not be here today if I did not have people who never gave up on me. You know who you are, and I love you 💗 Pay attention to those kinds of people and love them close.