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abskeefe abskeefe

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Abigail🍓Thorpe  I'm kind of a little piglet

You can't put contingencies on love, and you can't go back to eating rolled oats cooked in water after you've had Scottish oats simmered in cream 🍶

It's alright to be a beginner🌲

Spoiler alert 🎥 💍 pc: @robertcolephotography edit- this is not a wedding pic, just a precursor lolz

You'll make biscuits and I'll make tea, we'll curl up close and then fall asleep to the sound, of no one else, no one else around 🎶 #sleepytigers

Oh, hello again

I'm so tired of crying. The past year has been rough, with my dad being incredibly sick. I'm crippled by the "what ifs", but it's not the unknown that is scary. It's seeing the person who has always been such a force, in such a reduced physical state that infuriates me. Seeing my vibrant, passionate dad being reduced to distressing amounts of pain for so long is gutting. Everything is overshadowed by this. Everything is colored by it. I'm not interested in celebrating moments that should be cause for celebration. Things that don't normally irritate me drive me insane- particularly the probing questions about my dad from people I hardly know. "What kind of treatment is he doing?" "Has he tried this, this and this?" "What's the prognosis?" These questions from people are meant to be caring, of course, but they hurt. I don't want to share painful details about an emotionally charged subject like this with veritable strangers (yet here I am sharing it on a public platform voluntarily.) There's a difference though, at least for me, in offering information as opposed to having it needled out of you. I'll find myself forgetting reality for moments, but abruptly remembering, then feeling guilt for the times I wasn't dwelling on it. There's also this pervasive guilt I feel, guilt for feeling depressed about my dad's health. Which, I realize as I write this, is so wrong. I should feel everything. These are the emotions you feel when someone you love deeply is ill. But it still feels selfish in a way, the sense of fragility I feel, because I'm fine. I'm healthy. A part of me thinks that it's ridiculous to even share my thoughts. This feels cathartic though. Cheap therapy. So often I'm jolted out of a dark place by watching something beautiful happen. Tonight I watched fog slowly settle over the fields of a quiet valley farm, blanketing the grass and goldenrod in a floating cover while the sun was setting and it made me angry. There's still so much beauty in spite of it all, and we are so, so small. Small in the scope of our ability to change the health of those we love

you give me miles and miles of mountains, and I'll ask for the sea- damien rice #bigfootisthatyou

Pinch me 🦀😍

☕️🍦+ meltingly ripe figs


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