Dear mom REQUEST LETTER It came to my notice that men are no longer safe from their wives but u insist I get married. If you really insist I must get married I will. But strictly on the condition that there will be nothing like a kitchen in my house. My wife will not come along with any kichen material or eating utencils like forks, knifes, pestles, mortar, chopping board, graters, blenders or anything that is sharp or pointed. We can use our God given hands to eat - don't worry about the nails, that's what manicure saloons are meant for. I will endeavour to buy us food from eateries or we can go out to eat.
Again, I want to make it clear that if I must get married, the bride's family will provide me with a house where my room will be separated from hers and must have a backdoor that goes straight out of the house. I also need installed a speed dial unit that rings to the nearest police station and army barrack and a very loud alarm that can be heard loud and clear all over the neighborhood.
If I must get married, my wife will be cuffed whenever I am home to ensure that I am safe. She should never even try to decipher the kind of fone I use. She will never come to my room as my phone will be attached to my bed whenever am home. I should be provided with iron armour and steel pants to protect the future of my children. When that is done, I will reconsider taking a wife as a life partner. Your Son,