tinaessmaker tinaessmaker

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Tina Essmaker  Coach, writer, speaker | Cofounder & former EIC of @greatdiscontent | Contact: hello@tinaessmaker.com | 📷 by @juliahembreephoto

Yesterday morning I woke at 6am to drive north of the city and hike with a woman I met on Craigslist. It’s another great New York story. In the new year I upgraded a piece of furniture and sold the old one to @julieahotz, a photographer who had just made the cross-country move from LA.
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We chatted and as I helped her load the furniture into her car she offered to take me hiking if I ever wanted to go. I did. I’m not sure she thought I’d actually take her up on the offer. This spring when the weather began to warm, I emailed her to get a hike on the books. She was a pro and helped with gear and what to wear.
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We went to Harriman State Park yesterday and did 9.1 miles (and climbed the equivalent of 84 flights of stairs!) and I was quite tired, but blissful after spending a few hours with no cell service, surrounded by beauty and lush green landscapes.
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In the past I wouldn’t have taken Julie up on her offer, but now my mantra is that you must have a good reason for passing up any kind of adventure. So I said yes and had an amazing experience and made a new friend—all thanks to Craigslist. ✨✨
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#harrimanstatepark #newyork #hikingadventures

Stopped by @ado last night to see the new installation by @unitedvisualartists titled “Spirit of the City.” It was even more beautiful in the rain.
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Thanks for the invite, @natepoekert! And great to see you, @aguynamedpatrick and @ryanfitzgibbon. ☔️ Pic by the world’s best roomie @missbaileybeth. 💙
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#adonyc #spiritofthecity #uva #greenpoint #brooklyn

“Be interested in the world. Observe.” A reminder from my dear friend @teaelleu who spoke last week at @99u Conference. 🙌🏻 Also the M train is back and I am thrilled.
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#ridgewood #queens #mtrain

“Crying, I called my dad to ask him about my parents’ decision to have kids. How did you know you wanted kids? I didn’t think I did, but now I think I do. What if it’s too late?” New story—link in bio!
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I wrote a new piece about wrestling with the question of motherhood as a motherless daughter. My mom died when I was 10, and for most of my life I didn’t think I wanted kids. So when I read Sheila’s new book, I was sure I’d close the last page convinced that motherhood was not for me. But I didn’t.
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I’ve devoted the last year and a half to personal exploration and healing, and it’s awakened a new part of me. I miss my mom every Mother’s Day, and today I also wonder if *I* will ever be a mother. And if I am, will it break my heart open in ways unimaginable, will it lead me back to my own mother?
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#memoir #amwriting #mothersday #motherlessdaughters #motherhood #sheilaheti #amreading

Is it possible to acknowledge our feelings and sit in that desire and not be driven to close the gap?This is one of the questions that Rebecca Solnit tackles in her book, A Field Guide to Getting Lost, and it has stuck with me since I read it.
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We are not meant to possess one another and we can’t take any of our possessions with us when we leave. Maybe our desire to possess reflects our desire to be permanent citizens of this earth. Maybe it’s our way of resisting the impermanence of all things.
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But maybe accepting the impermanence and choosing not to possess is a route to enjoying and appreciating life in the moment. It doesn’t have to last forever to be good. .
#poetry #amwriting #bepresent #impermanence

More Hockney from the @pacegallery ❤️
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#pacegallery #hockney #nyc #newyork

I live in Ridgewood, Queens, on the border of Bushwick. When I walk home along Cypress Avenue at night I can see the statuesque Empire State Building lit up in the distance, and I smile.
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I never planned to live in New York. I grew up an hour outside of Detroit, MI, and to me that was a big city. But at 30, I packed up my life and moved to New York with my former husband, and I never looked back.
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When my marriage ended, family asked what I would do. I didn’t question it—I knew I’d stay in New York where my community was, where the opportunities were. It was a chance to reinvent myself, and I have.
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I can’t say I’d never live elsewhere, but New York, and the people who fill it, have my heart. The energy, the sense of possibility, the fact that I don’t know who I’ll meet or what I’ll experience when I step outside—all of it is thrilling. 🖤
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#poetry #amwriting #newyork #nyc

Throwback to a few weekends ago looking at art with the crew. If you haven’t seen the Hockney exhibit at @pacegallery, do go. It’s whimsical and wonderful and the perspectives are mind-bending.
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#hockney #pacegallery #nyc #newyork

Missed this little guy while I was I was in Boston last week. I’m glad to be home for a bit so I can get back into my regular routine (and enjoy snuggles with Jackson).
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#catsofinstagram #catmom

“I believe it’s possible to be both content and ambitious.” Just wrapped a talk to a BIG audience at @how_events! What a privilege it was to choose vulnerability and share my journey. 💕
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P.S. Download a digital handout with quotes, exercises, and resources from my talk in bio.
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#HOWLive #Boston

Road tripped to Boston with my ladies @debbiemillman, @emilywetland, and @katiethebaker today for #HOWLive this week! Excited to speak on the main stage at Tuesday afternoon’s Spark session from 5:15-5:30pm and share about abandoning the hustle for the great contentment. 🙏🏻 And I can’t wait to meet all of you! 👋🏻
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#boston @how_events

“Art can be anything. It isn’t an object or even an image, it’s an activity of the spirit. And this idea carries through all of his work. These things he did that nobody had done came about because of a freedom he was able to find for himself.”
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Calvin Tomkins speaking about Duchamp in the book, The Afternoon Interviews. What happens when we find freedom for ourselves and dare to express it?
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Photo from Tara Donovan’s beautiful show, Compositions, at Pace London.
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#duchamp #taradonovan #pacelondon #london #england

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