candicebenbow candicebenbow

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Candice Marie Benbow  I write for sisters who are homesick for a place they’ve never been. #RedLipTheology #LemonadeSyllabus


God, send the sweet life!!!

In what was the “most biggest room” in the “most largest apartment house” in the whole world, my mama encouraged me to create the world I wanted to see.
She told me I could do and be anything I wanted in this life and I believed her.
May I continue to believe her. May I always believe her.
This is 37.


Can you focus on me?
Baby, can you focus on me?

Thank you. Next.

I’ve been sitting with the weight of Michelle’s words all weekend. And it’s been heavy. I’m trying to think through a space where we church girls can be honest about how hard it is to navigate depression and love losses. It’s over on my blog.

...cake foams to practice icing and decorating! 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽


....when your girl got you shouting at 6:30! WE MADE IT! #iSurvivedItAndMyFriendsDidToo @mslasha3130

Birthday Bundles thanks to @yummyextensions! Raw Cambodian Wavy Elegance! 3x16in! Installed by @ashamonet! #yummyextensions #ashasangels

As someone who lives with depression and as someone who was hospitalized for treatment, I hated that production continued days after Michelle came home. How is it that reality show production continues like nothing happened when your wellness was so at risk?! I also hate that so much of the show’s narrative continues to be her being loved in spite of having wellness challenges...especially when, if you watch the show, Chad himself is a living, breathing red flag!! Who tells the person they love that their challenges are a trigger for his unresolved stuff- stuff he didn’t even want to deal with?! Who tells someone to call their mama to tell her the wedding’s on and then gets in the car and says basically nevermind?! Where’s room for the truth that maybe -just maybe- the foundation of love was still a work in progress and we didn’t need to be invited into it just yet? Where’s room to own that two people at the beginnings of working through a whole lot of individual trauma is a lot on a new relationship?! Do we have space to be honest that fundamentalist, evangelical Christianity doesn’t have the range to effectively address depression and, even when we have progressive language around it, we’re still falling way short? And can you please point me to the room where we can talk about the fact that although “I don’t wanna destroy another relationship” is the fruit of years of bullshit relationship theology and the lie that single Black women with wellness challenges are broken or damaged, it doesn’t make believing that statement any less true...because while the world is happy she left a MAGA adjacent White boy, she staying with a whole lot more damaging stuff.

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