I posted this about a year and a day ago and not to be that negative bitch but not much has changed. Yes, i have grown as person. But i cant really see it now. Im dealing with alot and its weird how i was willing to give recovering a shot a couple months ago but it never started. 2017 wasn't all that great. I met @deathismygf and managed to even get their attention on the first day of school which still baffles me and is a huge highlight in my life :) . I admire the little support i got this year during my hospitalizations and the aftermath my suicide attempts, even if i got negative feedback most of the time. I was greeted with open arms by my friends when i came out of each mental hospital and i am so thankful for that. This year i learned to be a bit more thankful but nothing too big, not enough to send me on the starting block of recovery.
I met people who actually needed me and im glad i did. Im sorry for wver pushing you guys away. Im a jerk, i know. Anyway, 2018 is coming and is overwhelming me because im in an extremely rough spot in my mind so i dont have much to say other than,