rhysrhys my standup notes tonight: engaged, long walks, MTA, camel toe #standup #comedy #nyc #laughingbuddha 6d

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rhysrhys the 16th annual Del Close Marathon was just about as clutch as my hand is weird-looking#DCM16 #UCB 1w

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rhysrhys yo catch me catch'n them solar rays for days cuz #Wilson #waythreehot 3w

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rhysrhys yo shout-out to @chiquitabrands for my new bike helmet 3w

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rhysrhys get yo head right 🔄 3w

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rhysrhys yo that brand new do tho #bundayfunday #whoville 2mon

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rhysrhys bon voyage señor creepy food-catcher-on-the-Rhys 3mon

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rhysrhys NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Upon taking my morning 'dip and dive' into the pool, what do I see out of the corner of my eye but sweet, sweet Dirbie (the birdie) who apparently had already 'dipped and died.' Did I really save his life the other day? Or did I simply delay the inevitable truth that all birdies must die at some point? And even though birds are blessed with the awesome ability of flight, this particular bird's sole dream was to be able to swim! But could I have prevented this? Or did I cause this? Is all fate locked shut like the cruel chambers of a chastity belt or a really, really, really, really, really strong bike lock? OHHH, WHAT DOES IT MEAN??? Could this be a sign? What about an omen? A charm? A curse?! Was this an act of defiance or desperation?!? Will I ever see Dirbie again? Will Dirbie remember me? Does anyone want get brunch later? So many questions. So little time left in the morning before it gets too damn hot to comfortably be outside without begging for a sun burn. Ohhh! I fear the worst is this and this alone - we may never know! #DirbieDrowned #DirbieIsDead #DirbieIsDeceased #DirbieIsDoneFor #DirbieWillNeverFlyAgain #CircleOfLife #swimmingpool #backyard #morning #goodmorning #psych #badmorning #wakeupcall #WakeupAndSmellTheDeadBirdFloatingInYourPool #chirpchirp #DipAndDive #DipAndDied #chastitybelt #questions #TheEnd 3mon

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rhysrhys found the same birdie from yesterday alive and well and chirping his little head off in a fun little tree branch this morning!!! oh this thing we call life is so special isn't it? oh special life, what is it you are plotting? I think I'll name the birdie Dirbie. yes, that'll be the ticket - Dirbie the birdie. oh joy! #feelingblessedthough #ohspeciallife #Dirbiethebirdie #joy #plotting #funbranches #chirpchirp #hehe 3mon

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rhysrhys yeah so, like, is i cray-z? #TheTerminator 4mon

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rhysrhys Christina A'Gorilla 4mon

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rhysrhys ¡cãmø mågïč! 4mon

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rhysrhys shoutout to @ommachine for bringing home this little #souvenir from #Nicaragua. also, shoutout to @CatchMasterMouseTraps for inadvertently catching this little souvenir, foiling what potentially could have been the most devastating #scorpion outbreak in recent #Brooklyn history. #nofilter 4mon

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rhysrhys Billie Jean [Paul Gaultier] is not my lover... 5mon

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rhysrhys ice tide 5mon

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